Failing does not make you a failure and it doesn’t define who you are, but no one enjoys the process of failing. Let’s focus on progress over perfection plus these five tips for dealing with failure!

Recently, Amanda Tress, founder and CEO of the FASTer Way to Fat Loss, posted this image on Instagram… and the response was overwhelming! Hundreds of comments agreeing with, giving thanks for, and loving this message. Comments like,

“Needed this today! Thank you!!”
“Love this!! We all need to be less critical of ourselves and give ourselves grace.”
“Needed this encouragement!!! Thank you!”
“Thank you!!! It’s always refreshing to hear that I’m not alone. It happens to every one of us!”
“And this is exactly why I love FWTFL! Thank you for being real! After having an off week, I needed to hear this!”

Women everywhere resonate with it because, whether we like it or not, we all feel the pressure to be perfect—and the guilt of never getting there.

The truth of the matter is, no one is perfect. We all “fail” from time to time, in ways both big and small. So, let’s have an honest conversation about “failure” and its role in our growth, because this might just be the gamechanger you need to absolutely crush your goals!

Perceived “Failures”

Far too often, we get down on ourselves for things that are simply perceived “failures.” We measure our actions and progress based on what we see others doing and what we believe others think we “should” be doing. However, these things are NOT real failures. Not getting out of your PJ’s all day or disagreeing with someone you care about are simple choices we’re all entitled to make. We only consider them failures because somewhere along the line, we allowed other people’s expectations to determine what we believed we should be doing and how we should be behaving.

This isn’t to say you should lower your expectations or totally ignore the guidance of others in your life, BUT...these types of things are merely choices that are, for the most part, neutral. They have no real negative effects on our lives and only carry the weight of the word “failure” because of the pressure we put on ourselves.

Real “Failures”

Real “failures” are actual attempts at things that don’t work or mistakes that do have a negative effect on our own lives or the lives around us.

Making a costly mistake at home or in business, launching something that no one buys, forgetting an important meeting, losing your temper irrationally at your children… these could all be things that we put into the real “failure” category.

These things can feel huge because they are a direct blow to our confidence, and can easily lead us toward throwing in the towel. They can feel like a huge burden to carry and often can lead to massive amounts of anxiety, frustration or fuel to “make things right”. This is usually more about easing our own ego than actually doing what needs to be done for the good of both ourselves and others.

The Truth About Failure

While both perceived and real failures seem huge at the time, they usually aren’t. In fact, making mistakes often means you’re in the game. It means you’re showing up. It means you care.

Eating breakfast when you planned on fasting isn’t a failure—most people don’t care enough to even give fasting a try! You do, and you’re doing the best you can to make it happen.

Launching something no one buys isn’t a failure—you created something and put it out into the world. You’re doing better than most people who just let their ideas collect dust in their minds, never taking the time to try to create anything new.

Failing often means you have standards and expectations, and you care about showing up to make things happen. Failing at something doesn’t make you, as a person, a failure. It makes you’re human.

5 Tips for Dealing with Failure

No one enjoys failing, but when we can reframe our perception and look at it in a new light, failure isn’t nearly as painful or difficult. These five tips will help you deal with failure when it comes!

Failure is not final unless you allow it to be final. You can either let small failures stop you in your tracks, or you can let them serve as feedback and course correction. You can learn from your failures and get better, or you can succumb to the weight of them. Failure happens, but it doesn’t have to be the end unless YOU say it’s the end.
Give yourself grace. When you fail, give yourself grace. Think about how to move forward, then MOVE FORWARD. Forgive yourself, if necessary, and know that you’re doing a great job.
Progress over perfection. This is our mantra in the FASTer Way to Fat Loss! We live by it daily and remind our clients ALL THE TIME that perfection is never our goal—we want progress! Even if you can get only 1% better every day or every week, that progress adds up to significant gains over time.
Learn from your failures. If you don’t evaluate the mistakes you make to determine if they’re merely perceived or actual issues, then you won’t be able to make improvements. And, if you don’t make improvements, then your failure is essentially wasted.
Failure doesn’t make you a bad person. Who you are is not directly related to how perfectly you go through life. There is so much more to you than that! Don’t let setbacks determine your self-worth.

At the end of the day, you can either let “failure” taunt you, keeping you from your true purpose in life, or you can look at it for what it is: a learning opportunity on your journey toward fulfilling your role in life.

If you want to accomplish big things at home, in business/work, or in your community, then you have to commit to reframing failure, embracing it as a tool for learning, and never allowing it to determine your worth.